It's A Hard Life
by FaithfullyTeamEdward1
Summary: Leah's been woven through the books, and we're told what a hard life she has. But now we enter her world and experience the heart break, the anger and everything else that goes with being a Teenaged Female Werewolf on the La Push Reservation. ENJOY!


_An: I'm back and with yet another story!! This time, we visit Leah's devestating world. Hope you enjoy and please review!!_

_Disclaimer: All character rights go to St. Meyers. The absolute genius who brought us the world of Twilight!_

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**Chapter One: Where Were You?:**

I was sitting at the table, red eyed and worried. How could I not be? Sam had been gone for a couple of weeks with no contact. I'd gone crazy trying to find him, but nobody could. Sam had never left for so long without telling me. What if something had hurt him? What if he was out in the woods, dieing? I couldn't take this unsure state. It was killing me to sit there and just wait. My father, Harry Clearwater, had told me to stay home and let the elders look for Sam, and it was killing me.

I shakily got to my feet to go and try to relax in the shower. On my way down the hall of Sam and my little tiny home, I passed a mirror. I was shocked by what I saw there. My dark eyes were red and raw around the edges where I'd been crying for hours. My normally silky black hair was a rat's nest and I had lost a terrible amount of weight from not eating with Sam gone. I looked like hell. I wasn't going to be able to take too much more of this sitting and waiting. I needed to know Sam was alive and well. So I decided to take a shower and then go see my father.

The shower didn't calm me down at all. My nerves were wound so tight that I almost couldn't breath properly. Slowly I walked to my front door. I had to talk to my dad; had to know whether they'd found Sam or not. God! How could he do that to me? I could barely move, let alone see straight. I walked slowly and carefully as not to fall over and not be able to get up. What would people think when they saw me stumbling down the street toward my father's? Because I sure as hell was not going to be driving there. I was as good as drunk.

Just as I was turning off my street, someone came up behind me in an old pick up truck and honked. I turned to see whom it was and was distantly aware of a familiar face behind the wheel. She got out of the truck and started walking towards me. Her face was so familiar, but I just couldn't place it with a name. My mind was so distorted that I probably wouldn't have even recognized my own father. I shivered when the women put her hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes.

"Leah? Leah what's wrong?" That voice. I recognized that voice. Then it clicked. Emily! My cousin! What was she doing down here? I mean, it was good to see her, but I wasn't in any state for company.

"Emily?" My voice sounded sad. She noticed it too. Her face went from mild worry to extreme worry in a matter of seconds.

"Leah. What. Is. Wrong?" She enunciated each word clearly, getting the urgency across.

Without speaking, I crumpled into her arms and started sobbing. Emily just ran her hand up and down my back and shushed in a soothing way; the way you'd calm a baby down. I had never broken down so much before. It was a strange sensation just letting the tears fall. And I wasn't even bothered by it because Emily was like a sister to me. I didn't care that she was letting me stand there and cry.

After a while, I pulled away and wiped the diminishing flow of tears away from my cheeks.

"Where were you trying to get? I'll give you a ride," Emily offered without trying to pry again.

"To…to my dad's," I stuttered out. She nodded and guided me to the passenger's seat of her truck. She helped me in and walked around to the driver's side. The engine growled with protest as she put it into drive. Then we were on our way to the Clearwater house.

We drove in silence. I could feel Emily's curiosity radiating off of her. She was desperate to know what was wrong, but I wouldn't break the silence or answer when she murmured her question. I was relieved when she pulled up in front of the house. She got out and was coming around to help me out, but I had a sudden unstoppable urge to get into the house. My legs carried me quickly out of the truck and up the two steps to the door. I didn't bother to knock. It had been my house for eighteen years before this and I knew the door would be unlocked.

My dad's truck and my mom's run down old Ford were parked in the small driveway. I could hear dishes in the kitchen being clanged together, so I knew my mom was home. I walked straight to the sound and stood in the doorway. There were five people in the room: My mom at the sink and Old Quil, my brother Seth, Billy black, my father and Sam, were all sitting at the old wooden table.

Two seconds it took to take in the faces, and then I was flying over to Sam. He shakily got to his feet and coiled his arms around my waist as I slammed into him. Tears were running down my cheeks again as I kissed his cheek, his lips, his forehead. I didn't realize he was crying as well until I felt warm water on my head.

"Oh my God! I was so worried! Oh my God, Sam!"

"Shhh. Leah, it's okay. I'm back."

My face was then buried into his chest and he was hugging me tightly. We only jumped apart when Seth cleared his throat. Sam sat back down, and I glared at my brother as I moved a chair over to sit next to Sam.

Just as I sat down, Emily walked into the kitchen. She saw everybody and panicked. She turned to look at me, and her face softened when she saw me beaming. She smiled a confused, but accepting grin and turned to give Seth, my mom and my dad all hugs.

"Emily. This is a surprise," Dad said as he sat back down.

"Yeah. I was hoping it would be. But I thought my mom would have called you and let you know already anyway," she replied.

Everyone had turned his or her attention to my cousin by then. Even Sam. He had looked up, and hadn't looked down. His eyes were wide and I thought I saw something deep down in their dark depths, but when he looked at me, it was gone. What was with him? This wasn't the first time he'd seen Emily or anything. They'd met a few times before that moment.

"Leah, isn't that wonderful?" My mom's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I hadn't heard exactly what everyone was talking about.

"Hmmm?" I asked.

"Emily is moving to La Push. Isn't that wonderful dear?" Mom answered. My eyes widened and I turned to look at my cousin. She was beautiful with her full pink lips, thick eyelashes, deep dark brown eyes, tall and skinny figure and high cheekbones.

Something in my gut was screaming at me that her moving here wouldn't be good, but I ignored it. Of course her being here would be good. She and I were really close and this would just strengthen that. I hoped.

I got to my feet and walked over to Emily. I pulled her into a tight hug, trying to relieve the bad sensation I was getting from the idea of her living on my Reservation. It didn't help. If anything, physical contact made that feeling even worse. What was wrong with me? Emily and I were so close. Why did I doubt the idea? This should be a great thing.

Sam got up from his seat with that strange look on his face again, and walked over to us and shook Emily's hand.

"Well then: Welcome to the La Push Reservation Emily." He smiled and my stomach dropped. There was something about that smile that jolted me. Sam had never given that smile to anyone but me.

To remind him that I was still there, I slipped my hand into his and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm glad your back. I was so torn apart when you disappeared," I whispered so only he could hear. He turned to face me and something snapped in him. I could see it in his face. There was something different about Sam.

He was taller; not by much, but he was. His hair was shaggier and he seemed a little bigger than he had been before he'd left. And this wasn't bigger, fatter; this was bigger; more muscular. How did he change so much in the couple of weeks he was gone? I looked him in the eyes, and just like always, he knew exactly what it was that I wanted.

"Excuse us for being rude, but Leah and I are going to go home. We have a lot to talk about." I cringed at the mildness of his tone. It was a strangled mild tone, like he was going to do something hurtful. What was a matter with him?

As we left, there were many 'welcome homes' and 'see you laters' said. Sam's and my trucks were parked at our house, so we were going to walk. But Emily followed us out and offered us a ride home.

"No, but thank you Emily," I said.

"That would be great," Sam said at the same as me. And he was the only one that was heard as well.

So Sam and Emily got into the front seat, leaving me to crawl into the back. As long as she didn't stick around when she took us home, that was just fine. But my stomach still hadn't recovered from its previous drop. I had never felt uncomfortable around Emily, but something about her current presence had me trying to cling to what sanity I had left after Sam disappeared and came back.

The ride was, yet again; quiet, except for the roar of the engine. Emily kept stealing glances at Sam, but then would glance guiltily into the rearview mirror at me. Sam just kept his eyes on the road ahead. I was thankful when we got to the house and Emily stayed in the car. We kissed each other's cheeks goodbye and Sam and Emily nodded to each other before she took off back down the road. I turned to take Sam's Hand like we always did when we got home together, but he was already halfway up the walkway.

I caught up to him when we entered the tiny living room and all of a sudden, all my emotion surfaced again, and I couldn't control it.

"Where were you Sam? I've been going crazy trying to get people to help and going to look for you myself! Two weeks with no note, no phone call, no anything! You could have been dead somewhere and I wouldn't have known because you didn't tell anybody where you were going!"

I couldn't help but scream these words. All the pent up anger, worry and sadness just exploded and there was no way to ease up the harshness of my words. It was true. Everything I was saying was the dead truth, and it hurt to throw the words at him. But he didn't move. Didn't say anything. Sam just let me go on until I was finished with what I was accusing.

"Lee Lee. I'm so sorry. I-I can't tell you where I was though," he murmured almost too quietly for me too hear. He had pulled me into a tight hug with face in his chest, but after he'd spoken, I pulled away.

"Excuse me? You can't tell me? Why?" angry tears started flowing down my cheeks. "I've been sitting and worried sick about you and all you can say is 'you can't tell me'? Bull Shit Sam!" I could no longer control my anger. I went off and when I was done, I crumpled to the ground. I was beat. Sam had stood there and taken it without a word, but I was still totally pissed. Why wouldn't he tell me?

When I finally calmed my tears enough, I sobbed out, "Is it another girl? Were you up at another reservation with someone else? It that why you can't tell me?"

His mouth opened to say something, but the words didn't come, so he walked over to me and sat next to me on the ground and hugged me close.

"No Leah. There isn't another girl. I promise. I'm yours forever." His words sounded so sincere that I almost gave right in, but I wasn't completely done yet.

"Then why won't you tell me?" I just about begged.

"Leah, Sweetheart, this is just something I'm doing myself. It's in your better interest that I don't tell you. I love you so much Lee Lee!" His voice was smooth and gentle. Finally I gave up. I'd settle for this for now. I was just happy that Sam was home and safe. And I had always believed him when he said we were forever. That was the one truly beautiful dream I ever had. And so far as that, it had been my reality.


End file.
